Out of Practice

I am a writer.  Or, I was a writer.   I am out of practice.  It used to be that I’d write in my journal every day, sometimes two or three times a day.  I used to fill pages with intimate thoughts, poems, personal narrative – you name it.  Writing used to be the thing I did above and beyond everything else, the thing I depended on, threw myself into, and devoted myself to.  Now all I write are snippets of things during writing workshops I facilitate, Facebook status updates, emails, and other work-related pieces. 

My work revolves around writing – could that be why I write less?  Does that even make sense?  The work I do – creating agendas for writing groups, writing contracts, sending an overwhelming amount of emails, creating training materials, and teaching writing – seems to have kept me from my own writing.  In writing workshops, I have very little time to write for myself.  And after a day of writing for work, the last thing I want to do is crack open my journal.  But I miss it.  I feel as if something is missing in me.  There is a hole I haven’t been able to fill in my life lately.  That hole is writing. 

The advice I give to others – write every day, don’t worry about spelling or punctuation, don’t worry if it makes sense or not, just write, just get it out – I haven’t taken to heart for myself lately.  My journal has sat unopened for far too long.  This blog has been dormant for so long that I’m sure I’ve lost any readers I might have had in the past (if I had any to begin with).  I’ve forgotten my practice.  I’ve neglected my process.

Life has gotten somewhat in the way of my writing practice.  I got married nine months ago, got pregnant soon after.  Our first baby is due in two weeks.  I’ve taken on more responsibility at work.  And I’ve tried to devote time to my new husband, our household and our life together.  There’s been a lot of life to live, a lot to plan, and a lot to process over the last year.  Writing has taken a back seat to all of that.  Really, though, I should be writing through it all.  I should be documenting these incredible and exciting life stages and events.  I should be processing through my journal.

So now I am here to say that I am getting back into the writing practice, I am jumping back into the process.  Or at least I am going to try.  In the two weeks (or however long it may be) until my daughter is born, I plan to write.  I am currently on bed rest and quite bored so it should be easy – I hope.  I plan to crack open that journal, pay attention to this blog again, get the creative juices flowing and WRITE!

Writing defines me, it fills me up, it nourishes me and sustains me.  I need writing in my life.  I miss writing.  I can’t believe I have gone so long without it.  So here is what I am proposing….I am going to write every day – at least a page a day – in my journal or on this blog.  I am not going to worry about meaning, content, creativity, or polish.  I am just going to write – for me – because I need it, because I love it, because I miss it.  Stay tuned – if there is anyone out there reading this.  I am getting my writing practice going again.  And wow, it feels good!