For the last few Sundays from 1-4pm, I (and a co-teacher) have been facilitating a writing workshop for young girls at Women Writing for (a) Change in Cincinnati, Ohio.  Our group runs for five Sundays from February 7 – March 7.  Yesterday was week three. 

Our theme for this semester’s class is Kindness, which we are approaching on many levels.  We have discussed simple ways to show kindness to others, the earth, ourselves, and more.  We’ve created a Chain of Kindness (remember those paper chains you used to make in grade school?) which documents the random acts of kindness each of us has accomplished in the last few weeks.  We’ve made journals, meditated on clementines, and discussed how kind words can heal and inspire us while negative and hurtful words can break our hearts.  Yesterday we created artwork which displayed the many things we can do – with our own two hands – to change the world. 

But the kindness theme is just a small part of the workshop.  At the heart of it all is the writing.  These girls, in elementary and middle school write and share their stories with creativity, bravery, and power.  Their voices – though sometimes quiet and squeaky – are strong!  These girls know who they are and what they want.  They know what’s important, yet they also know how to have fun.  The class is an odd yet entertaining mix of little girl giggles and deep powerful stories. 

I have heard a number of pieces focused on the devastation of Haiti, giving to others, loss and sadness, physical and emotional struggles, and the state of the world.  But there have also been pieces about smiley faces, Pokemon, Valentine heart candies, cats, and rainbows.  Some talented girls seem to be writing novels, and share bits and pieces with us each week.  Others write short, sweet, yet poignant fastwrites that say so much in only a few words.  Other girls’ writing tends to change with the class or prompt, seemingly going with the flow.  But all are a gift, all are powerful.      

Teaching this class and watching these girls, I cannot help but wish I had an opportunity like this at their age.  A writer all my life, I would have blossomed in a class like this.  The ability to write with other girls my age, share that writing, and receive supportive feedback would have fed and empowered me and my writing.  Instead I wrote on my own, in private, hiding most of it in journals and notebooks tucked away under beds, in closets, and behind dressers.

But finding Women Writing for (a) Change as an adult, I have blossomed anyway – just a little late.  I am now fed and empowered by the experiences I have at WWfaC classes, including this opportunity to write with young girls.  They inspire, thrill, and touch me every week, with the pieces they write, our discussions, their laughter, and their strength.  I am having SO MUCH FUN teaching this class!

February Days

~by May Sarton

 

Who could tire of the long shadows,
The long shadows of the trees on snow?
Sometimes I stand at the kitchen window
For a timeless time in a long daze
Before these reflected perpendiculars,
Noting how the light has changed,
How tender it is now in February
When the shadows are blue not black.
The crimson cyclamen has opened wide,
A bower of petals drunk on the light,
And in the snow-bright ordered house
I am drowsy as a turtle in winter,
Living on light and shadow
And their changes.

 

 

Watching the snow fall in flurries and bursts, blizzards and gusts outside my windows these past few days, brought back memories of childhood.  Of running out the door into a world of white.  Of snowmen and snowball fights and snow forts and sledding. 

 

Lonely memories also made themselves present.  Times when I was alone and lost, staring out of distant windows far from home and family, friendships and familiar places.  Times when, in all the world, I felt like the only solitary human being out there.  Like everyone else had someone to hold on to in this bitter cold, but me.

 

Presently, neither those happy childhood memories nor the lonely moments seem to dominate my life.  Right now I feel like I am in a sort of transition.  The older, other parts of me have fallen away or stepped back into the shadows.  The parts of me that are yet to come, yet to bloom and grow seem just out of reach.  And I am here in the middle – wanting to neither go forward or back, yet feeling something missing in this middle.

 

Much like February, I feel as if I am in a deep winter.  Planning and dreaming of what’s to come yet also looking back over my shoulder at what has passed.  Fall, with its endings and winding down days seems not so long ago.  But spring, with new beginnings and growth and light seems so near.  Yet neither is in reach – and February drags on.

 

This middle that I am in feels neither lonely or congested.  I feel neither full nor empty –  just here, just working and living day to day.  Trying to remember where I’ve come from.  And trying to plan for where I am going.  An event or a celebration or a turning point seems necessary to move beyond this middle toward something new.     

I have an obsession with journals.  Not the super-fancy, unaffordable, hard to write-in kind that you can find at many stores these days.  But simple, decorative, easily accessible, and just the right shape/size/thickness/quality kind that I seek out at random stores.  Shopping at Target, Barnes and Noble, Staples, Borders, and some of the other big-name stores, I frequently browse the journal/notebook sections just to see what’s in stock.  Sometimes, if I find the right one for the right price, I’ll pick it up and add it to my growing collection of blank notebooks.  But even better are journals on sale at specialty shops, journals as gifts, and those rare finds at sidewalk sales or flea markets. 

I don’t seem to burn through my journals as fast as I seem to collect them, so the stack continues to grow.  But that moment when I finish one journal and browse the stack for a new one is thrilling.  Depending on my mood, the season, what’s going on in my life, or simply taste, I seek out and choose a journal for the next few months of writing process.  Opening the blank book to the first fresh page and making my first marks is like a new beginning – every time I do it.  The new notebook signals a fresh start, a new phase of life, a jumping-off point for future adventures, accomplishments, and transformations.       

Choosing the notebook is important, for some reason.  The size, shape, thickness, and number of pages can make a difference in the writing.  The way the pages turn, the size of the lined spaces, the texture of the book’s covers, and even the tint or color of the pages may set the mood.  Journals with quotes or prompts on their pages seem to elicit a whole different kind of writing than journals with handmade paper in natural tones.  Brightly colored pages set a different tone than simple lined sheets bound tightly together.  Artwork and poetry take the writing down one path; while clean, white pages travel another.  Of course the writing itself – the theme, topic, depth, and creativity depend on the writer.  But the notebook can set the tone. 

The notebook selection can make all the difference in the world, or none at all.  At my outreach workshop with teenage girls affected by homelessness, I’ve distributed single-subject, wire-bound, $.89 notebooks from Walmart to each girl.  The writing between the covers of these books is deep, powerful, and dramatic.  In the pages of the multi-faceted notebooks seen at Women Writing for (a) Change classes readers will find stories of humor and pain, transformation and nonsense.  Each book takes on the persona of the writer, no matter the decoration, style, cost, or quality of the journal.  In highschool I wrote, year after year, in those black and white mottled composition books.  These books were filled with teen angst, unrequited love, stories of depression and pain, and tales of joy and celebration.  The notebook made no difference on the material between its covers.

But still, for me, it is always a thrill to find that perfect journal.  For me, the book itself can make a difference.  For me, choosing the notebook is almost as special as opening that first page and making my first marks.  It is almost as important as filling the pages, writing the last words, and closing the book at its end.  Choosing the notebook is an art in itself.  I’m so grateful for the popularity of journal-writing today, for many reasons, of course.  But one reason is because of the great, varied, and wonderful selection of journals available for writers.

 The Learning Community of Women Writing for (a) Change presents:

Coming Home to Self

A six-session series meeting every two weeks on Thursday evenings, 7 – 9:30pm 
March 4 & 18, April 1, 15, 29, May 13
Tuition: $249
Limit: 20 participants, offered to women only

Facilitators:  Nan Fischer, Professional Coach – (513) 235-1365 & Dawn Diebold, Writer – (937) 474-3915

Description:  Weaving writing exercises with coaching techniques, facilitators, Nan and Dawn will lead you on a journey of greater connection to your truest, deepest self.   Participants can hope to gain greater clarity, stronger sense of self, increased confidence, enhanced creativity, and sharper focus toward a new direction.  Through individual writing, small and large group work, and application of the exercises and techniques, participants will be more motivated and energized to take action from a place of greater awareness and personal power. 

Note: Coming Home to Self differs from WWf(a)C Core courses in that each session focuses on a specific theme.  Writing is a large part of our process, and we use writing techniques, journaling, fastwrites, and other writing exercises to guide you toward personal transformation. However, Coming Home to Self is not a writing course.   

Benefits & Outcomes

• effectively navigating life changes
• living more fully and intentionally
• seeking connection with self and others
• becoming who you know you could be
• translating desire into reality; ideas into action

 Class Outline:

Session One: Where Are You Now?

Session Two:  Who Invited These People?

Session Three:  Who Are You Now?

Session Four:  What’s Holding you Back?

Session Five:  Who Am I Becoming

All learning community courses utilize the WWf(a)C community practices for strengthening voices, enhancing well-being, and empowering individuals to create positive change.   

To Register:  Contact Women Writing for (a)Change, www.womenwriting.org, 6906 Plainfield Rd., Cincinnati, OH 45236, (513) 272-1171

Some thoughts from past participants:

“I highly recommend Coming Home to Self for anyone who is facing life changes, challenges or just wanting a supportive environment to explore self.”

“If you need some time to find direction in your life, this is the perfect, safe, supportive place to do that.”

“The class is an opportunity to work with tools to stretch yourself, get close with and share with people who also want to grow.”

“Go for it – it will move you!”

Work is a part of life, not the point of it. ~Sean Adams

You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy. ~Bob Ross

I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life”.  ~Maya Angelou

 

My Father Teaches Me to Dream

~by Jan Beatty 

You want to know what work is?

I’ll tell you what work is:

Work is work.

You get up.  You get on the bus.

You don’t look from side to side.

You keep your eyes straight ahead.

That way nobody bothers you – see?

You get off the bus.  You work all day.

You get back on the bus at night.  Same thing.

You go to sleep.  You get up.

You do the same thing again.

Nothing more.  Nothing less.

There’s no handouts in this life.

All this other stuff you’re looking for –

It ain’t there.

Work is work.

 

 

Some Writing Prompts:

*Write about your first job.  Use vivid detail and description.  Describe the colors, smells, and sounds of the place.  Describe your co-workers and your first boss.  Take your “reader” back to this place with you.

*Write about “all this other stuff you’re looking for.”  What are your dreams?  What’s your passion?

*Begin with the line: My father taught me….Or: My mother taught me….

Cold, icy, dark, and gloomy these winter days begin to wear on me about this time.  I long for spring….for warmth and color, fresh air and sunshine.  The sun has not been out for a few days, and I feel like I am always cold.  This morning I awoke to ice crystals blanketing the outside world.  The sidewalk sparkled, the tree branches glistened, each blade of grass shone like stars……well, they would have if the sun was out.  Instead the icy view from my window looked harsh and dangerous.  Knowing I have to drive an hour to work today, ice in the morning scares me a bit.  I know there is beauty in winter weather.  I appreciate it as much as I can.  I love a quiet snowfall, I love raging blizzards.  I love those clear, crisp days when the whole world seems fresh and new.  But, with many things, I love them in moderation.  Then I’m ready to move on.  I’m ready for warmth.  I’m ready for birdsong.  I’m ready for daffodils and crocus, open windows and the smell of fresh-cut grass.  I’m ready for porch-sitting and outdoor walks (without wearing layers upon layers of thermal-wear!).  I’m ready for spring and new beginnings.  But February has not even arrived yet.  That’s a whole other mountain to climb!

It hasn’t budged!  And I’ve been exercising, eating well (low calories, even), and doing the things I should be doing!  ARG!  That makes me mad.

I have “dieted” long enough to know that the numbers on the scale aren’t everything.  But I also know that stepping on the scale every day is an easy way to cause disappointment and make for a crappy day (if the numbers don’t look good), as well as a way to brighten the mood and motivate (if the numbers are good – or at least going that way).  Stepping the on scale every morning as soon as I wake up is a way I keep myself on track.  But it can alter my mood (good or bad) for the entire day.  Yes, those little digital numbers on the flat scale tucked away in a corner of my bathroom can make or break my mood.  Pathetic!

Today I am pissy.  Yesterday I was pissy, too.  The scale has not budged.  And I was doing so well.  I know that the only thing I can do is keep on working, keep on trying, keep on keeping on!  But sometimes, when progress is slow, that becomes very hard to do.

What I have found very helpful is, of course, writing.  Letting my grumpiness out on paper (or screen) rather than on the people I love or work with helps me feel better and move toward a more positive place.  Finding “buddies” to communicate with during the diet process is also a great help.  I have a couple of friends who have been going through the process with me for a while.  We support each other, motivate each other, give tips, and listen to each other’s successes and defeats.  We have even started an online group (on Facebook) where we (and others) can create a diet and exercise support group for each other.  We’ve named it Skinny Bitches Club! (Look us up and join us if you wish) 

Another thing that helps me over and over again, is taking a breath and telling myself to keep going.  One moment on a scale is not going to change my life.  One number higher or lower than another is not going to transform me.  The ONLY thing I can do is move on.  I can step off the scale.  Breathe.  And move on with the day, the diet, the exercise, and my life.  I can keep working, keep trying, and keep living.  I’ll reach my goal, I know I will.  Because I am positive.  Because I am working hard.  Because I am doing this the healthy way.  And because I am strong, motivated, and determined.  And of course, because I have done this all before….and I can do it again!

Forget that damn scale!  Aaaah, I feel better now.

So I’ve been dieting for about a week and a half now.  I began last Monday (1/4) after a few months of willy-nilly eating and packing on of the holiday pounds (yummy Christmas cookies that stayed around the house too long!).  I’ve been pretty strict, writing down every calorie, gram of carbohydrates, protein, and fat.  I’ve been consuming volumes of water.  And I’ve worked out every day, alternating between a focus on cardio and strength-training.  I’ve even begun a somewhat routined yoga practice as I’ve started the Biggest Loser Yoga DVD program (which is kicking my butt, by the way!).  And I’ve lost 7 pounds already!  Of course, I’ve got to drop 20 pounds (or more) but 7 pounds is a pretty good start!

What has kept me going, and has kept me strict and on track, is writing down the diet, so to speak.  I learned this as a practice when I did the Curves Six-Week Challenge back in 2005.  Following the Curves suggested diet plan, and writing down EVERYTHING I consumed, plus checking off exercises, water intake, and vitamins helped me to lose over 80 pounds in about a year and a half.  The Curves Diet (this is not a promotion) takes the dieter through phases beginning low on calories (about 1200 a day), then slowly raising the calorie intake to a healthy and sustainable level throughout the six weeks (or as long as it takes).  The point is to create life-style changes and a diet plan you can stick with for life.  And this is what did it for me.  I was able to lose 80 pounds and keep it off for several years before slowly creeping up over the last 6 months to a year. 

After losing so much weight, my life completely changed in many ways, of course.  But one of the major changes was my attitude and practices surrounding food, dieting, and exercise.  I will not say I am a “dieter” for life, but I do know now how to manage a healthy weight and what to do if the weight begins to get out of control.  Much like it has now.  A bit of drinking, a relaxed attitude about food, and less exercise caused me to slowly pack on 20 pounds over the course of, I’d say a year.  For a while I didn’t write things down, I didn’t keep track of anything, and I pretty much ate whatever I wanted.  And that caught up to me.

So now with the New Year, and an upcoming wedding, I have re-established that old diet plan that worked so well for me in the past.  I’m back to the strict plan, the exercise routine, and the healthy attitude towards food.  I know that I cannot keep up this strict diet until my wedding (8 months from now) but I also know how to “splurge” so to speak, while also maintaining a healthy lifestyle.           

Counting calories, carbs, protein, fat, water intake, vitamins, and being vigilant about an exercise routine is hard work.  It takes determination, motivation, willpower, and strength.  But I’ve done it before, and I’m doing it again.  And I am proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished.  Writing down the diet, moment by moment, day by day is what works.  And it’s what will get me where I need to be.  Just another example of the transformative power of writing!

Today I will not diet.

Today I will not follow the lead of anyone else.

Today I will not worry about the details, or getting things done right.

I will not worry about how I look or what others think of me.

I will ignore the numbers on the scale.

Today I will not strive to be the person others want me to be.

Today I will not be good.

 

Today I might laugh out loud so everyone can hear.

I’ll take my time and wander slowly through the moments of the day.

I’ll say what’s on my mind.

I don’t think I’ll care very much about anyone else but me.

 

I need a rest. 

 

********************************************************************************

Today ~by Jean Little

Today I will not live up to my potential.

Today I will not relate well to my peer group.

Today I will not contribute in class.

I will not volunteer one thing.

Today I will not strive to do better.

Today I will not achieve or adjust  or grow enriched or get involved.

I will  not put up my hand even if the teacher is wrong and I can prove it.

  

Today I might eat the eraser off my pencil.

I’ll look at clouds.

I’ll be late,

I don’t think I’ll wash.

 

I need a rest.

Did you make any this year?  Did you vow to lose weight, save money, or be a better person?  Did you promise yourself that you’d spend more time with the husband or kids, be a little more patient with your mother, or try to be positive even in the bleakness of every day life?  Did you make a list of all the things you hope to accomplish this year…and all the tasks yet to tackle?  Did you begin the new year with hope, peace, and the promise of new beginnings?  I did.   

The New Year is a time for new beginnings, for fresh starts, and blank pages yet to fill.  It is a time to begin anew, turn the corner, and let go of things past so we may move forward on our own personal journeys.  Though many are shallow and short-lived, I think New Year’s Resolutions are a wonderful way to get ourselves in the spirit of transformation.  The New Year is a time to take a look back at where you’ve been and to gaze forward into the distance of where you have yet to go.  It’s a mystery….but that’s what makes it so intriguing!  The future is so open, so vast, so unknown.  Anything can happen!

I made some Resolutions this year, as I try to do every year, with the aim of personal transformation, kindness, and simplicity.  Here’s my list:

New Year’s Resolutions 2010

1.  Lose at least 20 pounds by my wedding (September 4, 2010) (more if I can!!)

2.  Finish my thesis (this quarter!) and Graduate!!! 

3.  Plan my wedding and remember not to stress out too much. 

4.  WRITE MORE!!!

5.  Read more!

6.  Hold on tighter to who I am and who I want to be.

7.  Get healthy – in body, mind, and spirit.

8.  Prepare – for whatever comes.

9.  Give

10.  Remember that it all comes down to love – love of myself; love for my fiance, Ron; love of nature and beauty; love of family and friends; and love of the simple things in life.   

These may not be the most poignant or creative resolutions (doesn’t everyone want to lose weight and get healthy???), but they are what’s important to me right now.  Tomorrow I may create new ones, or continue adding on to the list.  I completely believe that every moment, every experience is an opportunity for learning and transformation.  So every day is an opportunity for new resolutions. 

I’d love to read your resolutions, if you have any.  Feel free to share in the comment section.  Thanks and Happy New Year!