Love, on a Dry-Erase Board

In relationships, it is so easy to let little things get in the way of love, appreciation, and acceptance.  Annoying habits and quirks begin to overwhelm sometimes until the negative things are all you see – or at least point out.  Instead of seeing – and commending – the positive, it is sometimes too easy to complain or ridicule the negative.  No one likes to do that, no one wants to, but for many of us that bad quality of pointing out the faults cannot be helped sometimes.  I’m sad to say I do that with Ron.

I guess it comes from wanting more, wanting better, and  always trying to make improvements.  I am a dreamer and a romantic and sometimes I can’t help but imagine (and want) the “perfect” relationship.  But I know nothing is perfect and relationships take work, sacrifice, and struggle.  I just want our relationship to be the best it can be.  Sometimes though, I forget to focus on the positive, wonderful things because I am too busy looking for and dissecting the negative, annoying things I hope to change or make better.  Too much of this too often leads to fights, hurt feelings, and doubts about our relationship.  And one evening, not too long ago, Ron pointed this out to me.

So after arguing, then ignoring each other, then finally talking it all out, Ron and I decided to begin something he had recently read about in Andre Agassi’s new book, Open.   Agassi, he says in his book, uses a dry-erase board to express his appreciation for his wife, Stefani Graf with little daily notes of love and gratitude.  I thought this was a wonderful idea and ran out quickly to purchase a small dry-erase board to post in our house.  This would work for both of us, we thought, because we are both craving the positive attention from each other that we sometimes forget to give.  Who doesn’t love little notes of affection, gratitude, and appreciation once in a while? 

Since posting the dry-erase board on the wall in our office/guest room Ron and I have written every day or couple of days, small notes that express our appreciation, support, love, and gratitude for each other.  Sometimes these notes have to do with special days to celebrate each other such as Valentine’s Day and my birthday, which both  just passed.  Sometimes the notes have to do with something going on in our lives such as struggles with jobs, school, friendships and family.  And sometimes we just write random loving notes that express how we feel about each other. 

I can’t tell you how rewarding and special this is – both to receive the comments from Ron and to write them as well.  It has created a connection between us that we did not have before – or maybe just did not work hard enough on.  I LOVE thinking of special things to write to Ron and I watch him, excited for him to read what I’ve expressed.  And I also LOVE coming upon the board to find a new and wonderful comment from Ron that makes me feel so special and loved.

I hope we continue to use this board to express our appreciation, love, and affection for each other.  I also hope that by doing this, we learn to express these things in other ways, as well, and more often.  Learning to fully appreciate the gifts of this relationship and each other will help us build a stronger relationship as we move forward toward marriage and a lifetime together.  The love is there and it is strong, but sometimes with the day-to-day “stuff” of life we forget to express it.  But with this positive and fulfilling activity, Ron and I have found a deeper love on a dry-erase board.